


For Each A Season In Time

by missema



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age II
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Conversations, Female Friendship, Friendship, Future, Gen, Past, Women of Dragon Age, present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 09:11:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aveline encounters her friends in Kirkwall, and each woman embodies a different part of time to her.  The interactions leave Aveline contemplative for very different reasons.  As she ponders the future, present and past, Aveline also tries to help and understand her friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Each A Season In Time

For Each a Season in Time

Aveline/Isabela (Future)

I smile o'er the wrinkled blue  
Lo! the sea is fair,  
Smooth as the flow of a maiden's hair;  
And the welkin's light shines through  
Into mid-sea caverns of beryl hue,  
And the little waves laugh and the mermaids sing,  
And the sea is a beautiful, sinuous thing!

\- Lucy Maud Montgomery

 

She never knew the sea.  It was always the land that connected for Aveline, the dirt and smell of pine, the feeling of a rock in the palm of the hand.  The sea, with its shifting colors and tempestuous nature was never for her.  It just wasn't solid enough and she didn't have fond memories of her last boat trip, the one where they were running from the Blight.  Simply put, it held no allure for her.

Isabela insisted otherwise.

"Come on Captain, just you and I for an afternoon.  Well, you and I and a couple of good sailors to do the work so we can drink brandy and relax.  Not even Hawke's been on the ship yet, and I'm inviting you."

It took some more cajoling, but Aveline eventually relented.  Isabela's offer of rest and respite on the sunny deck of her ship was an idea that grew more tempting with every offering.  The ship itself wasn't at its best yet, but Isabela had been putting long hours working on it at the docks, surprisingly Aveline with her ambitious plans.  She had remanded Castillon's ship to Isabela for the 'tip' about the slaving ring.  

The sky was a clear, bright azure on the day of their little trip - a good sign on Aveline's eyes but one the pirate found suspect.  Despite their differences in opinion about the weather, they both agreed that being away from Kirkwall was a thing to be celebrated, even if Aveline could see the dark city on the horizon if she squinted hard enough.  They weren't that far out to sea, but being on the water at all was good enough for Isabela.

"Alright, I admit it.  This was a good idea."  Aveline said.  She'd gained her footing quickly and had tried to pitch in and help the sailors with their work, but was waved down by Isabela. _Leave it to the experts, big girl_.

It took a while for her to truly relax, the open, waveless sea made her feel more off balance than if they'd been in a storm.

"So now that we're out here, talk to me Aveline.  What's going on in that head of yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen the look in your eyes before.  You've got those hard little worry lines around your mouth all the time now."

Aveline sighed, not knowing where to start.  Before it had been hard to be Guard-Captain and everything else in her life - to remain respectful and dutiful while looking forward.  Now it was what was to come that she was worried about, the great unknown of 'what manner of trouble will I find myself in next?'.  "It's the future really.  There's no telling what's going to happen between templars and mages, but it feels inevitable.  As much as I worry about Hawke, I know she can take care of herself.  I think more of what's going to happen once we push past that breaking point."

"I can feel it too, all that delicious tension simmering and straining just under the surface.  Pity it's wasted on mages and templars."  She snorted, laughing too loud at her own joke.  "Let me tell you something I've learned."  Isabela advised sagely.  "The future is going to come, whether you like it or not, and it never shares its plans beforehand.  You just have to roll with it."

Aveline looked out at the water, considering.  "You know, that's surprisingly good advise."

"I do that sometimes."

"You know I worry for you too.  I hope that whenever you leave Kirkwall, the Qunari don't come for you again."

Isabela waved a hand at her.  "It's not a problem.  They stick to their own code, for the most part and the Arishok was defeated."  She gave Aveline a hard stare.  "And look at you not taking my advice at all.  I can handle myself, don't you worry.  It's the worry that will kill you sure as a blade."

Aveline laughed.  "You're right, you're right.  Let's just enjoy the sun for once.  It's always so dark in Kirkwall, even when it isn't."

"I assumed even the sun doesn't want to be there most days either."

"It's not so bad, but I must admit, I miss Ferelden sometimes."

"I always miss Denerim - there's a life in that city that you just don't find other places.  Beautifully dirty and raucous, even in the most refined sections.  That's what makes it great when you come back."

Neither of them said anything about the past, but they shared the thought, wondering if Denerim was much changed after the Blight.  Without her ship, Isabela hadn't seen it in a while, and Aveline hadn't considered visiting the city.  Isabela hoped all of its changes were for the better, with a cleaner brothel to take her coin and better ale.  Aveline's hopes were differently worded, but also in the line of changes for the better.  Maybe one day she'd go and visit again, though she didn't plan on it.  But there was always the possibility.

"Whatever happens in the future Isabela, I would be grateful if you showed me a little about sailing.  I hate feeling like a novice."

A huge grin spread across the pirate's face, but she did her best to smother it.  "Are you certain?  You looked a little green getting on."

It took the rest of the afternoon, but by the end of the evening, Isabela was ready to proclaim Aveline and honorary part of her crew.  She let Aveline lead the ship back to Kirkwall, watching her with a raised eyebrow as she commanded the pirate crew with ease, even if she didn't get all the nautical terms quite right.

"You did pretty well, Guard-Captain.  I'll have to teach you the names of everything one day so you can get it right.  Just in case - maybe one day you'll need to be real captain."  Isabela teased gently.

"Maker, I hope not.  The guard is bad enough.  I can't imagine a crew full of pirates for weeks on end."  Aveline said.

Isabela's laughter rang out across the water, heralding their arrival back in Kirkwall on gales of evening wind.  The experience had been more pleasant that Aveline had anticipated, but she was grateful to be back on land.  Her body adjusted back quickly, greeting the steady comfort of ground under her feet once more with a relieved sigh.  She was tired, but her skin still radiated heat and sunlight as walked home, Isabela bellowing out orders in the distance.  The sea was too like the future, unpredictable and unknowable for her.  Aveline preferred the constant, steady feel of the land beneath her, but liked the view of the water from the shore.

 

#####

Aveline/Bethany (Present)

The caged bird sings  
with fearful trill  
of the things unknown  
but longed for still  
and his tune is heard  
on the distant hill for the caged bird  
sings of freedom

\- Maya Angelou

 

The Circle of Magi allowed non-family visitors only once a month for 'good' mages, and Aveline always visited if she was in Kirkwall.  Sometimes she came with Hawke in tow, but most of the time it was early enough in the morning that she was alone.  Bethany was a morning person, like her and didn't mind the early visits.

It was almost sad to see her this way, like a child on a visiting day, dressed up and on her best behavior.  Bethany wasn't a troublesome woman by any means, but seeing her reclining under a tree with templars and their swords at the ready made it seem as if she'd been a menace to Kirkwall when she was free.  The truth of it was, the younger Hawke had saved her life more than a few times with her magic and had proven her strength.  Aveline's opinion didn't count for anything with the Knight-Commander, but she made certain to say it when they took Bethany to the Circle - she was a good mage.  But then, she wouldn't be a mage anymore if she wasn't and she certainly wouldn't be allowed visitors.

"Bethany, how are you?"  Aveline asked as she always did, settling down next to Bethany on the ground.  They were in the small courtyard - a treat for mages and visitors to take advantage of the good weather.  Around them, templars outnumbered mages and guests two to one.

"It's been alright recently.  I've got a new apprentice who seems promising."

"You like the mentoring." Aveline observed.  "You like being a teacher in a way?"

  "It's gratifying."  She shrugged as she thought.  "I never would have considered it before, but there's something nice in teaching control and discipline.  And leading by example."

Aveline let out a hearty laugh of solidarity.  "I can certainly understand that."  It was unexpected to see that leadership suited the younger Hawke sibling just as well as it sat on the shoulders of the elder.  But she was glad for Bethany, glad to see that growth wasn't stopped by stone walls and the indefatigable eyes of the templars.

They always spoke of recent things, of goings on in the city, of gossip that wouldn't have reached her ears yet.  Aveline was always surprised by the amount of information that did make it through to the Gallows, especially to Bethany about her sister, but then again, Hawke was the most famous person in Kirkwall these days.  

She let Bethany direct the conversation, out of courtesy and habit.  They never talked too much about the past - but there wasn't too much past between them.  Nor did they speak of the future, because there was nothing foreseeable but stone and routine awaiting Bethany after their meetings.  The days would be the same, filled with study under the constant eyes of the templars.  Most of the time, Aveline agreed with the edict that mages needed to be watched, but after she visited Bethany and saw the hardness that grew in her eyes, her surety wavered from time to time.

There was only the present between them, the funny thing that was read in a book by Bethany, the recent escapades in the city guard by Aveline.  They talked and laughed where they could, until the short time allotted to them was over and Aveline was escorted out.  Their conversations ended in the same way, even if they used different words each time.

"Tell my sister to be careful.  I miss going out with her, even if it was just to make sure she got proper healing.  I'm never sure when she'll come down and visit so I can say it for myself."

"I will.  You don't get up to anything in here."

Bethany snorted.  "As if I could.  Give my best to Donnic and everyone else."  She'd never met Donnic properly, but Aveline spoke so often of her new husband that Bethany felt as if she knew him.

And so it went down the line until they were out of goodbyes and they couldn't extend her visit any longer under the gaze of the templars.  Only when Aveline left the Gallows did she breathe normally again.  It was almost tiring to keep up their light talk, nothing too incendiary lest the templars confine Bethany to quarters, nothing too personal, but all just chatter.  She hoped at the very least it brought comfort to the younger woman, but she couldn't begin imagine how Bethany must feel.

 

##### 

Aveline/Merrill (Past)

Yesterday is History,  
'Tis so far away  
Yesterday is Poetry  
'Tis Philosophy

Yesterday is mystery  
Where it is Today  
While we shrewdly speculate  
Flutter both away  

-Emily Dickinson

 

"How do your people remember the past?"  Merrill asked Aveline.

Inwardly, Aveline groaned.  She'd been trying to avoid this question for a good long time but since Merrill had taken to asking each of Hawke's friends about it in turn, she knew her hopes of avoidance were vain at best.  Sebastian had been the best of all them, strangely.  He'd told her a lot about the Chantry and in depth histories kept by his family.  Anders had posed the question back to her, and got more information than he ever wanted about Dalish culture.  Fenris had merely snarled when she asked, his missing memories and dislike of Merrill too much combined for his temper.  Varric had shrugged it off, saying something like 'Shit Daisy, we all do things different.  Have another drink.", while Isabela told her it was best to forget.

Whether or not she'd queried Hawke, Aveline didn't know, but she suspected Merrill was saving it for last to compare.  

"If you're asking about humans in general, Merrill, there are a great many ways that people remember, honor and respect the past.  Many of them are personal."  She said, hoping to end the conversation.

She didn't mind the Dalish elf and her somewhat reckless curiosity, but she worried for her.  Aveline thought she spent too much time alone, and cursed Hawke for letting her continue down the foolish path of restoring that mirror.  Then again, Aveline worried about everyone far too much, as Isabela pointed out.  It was in her nature, and to try and stop it was like to try and alter the course of the wind.  

"There are many things people do to honor and remember Merrill.  Some write stories or songs about it.  Others keep memorials or pass things down through their families.  It all just depends on the people."

"But how do you keep your history?  There are so many humans and not all of them can read."

Aveline thought about that for a moment and realized she didn't like the answer.  "I guess that duty is taken up by the Chantry for most people and passed through families.  Personally, I try to honor and remember, to live my life in a way that would make anyone I know proud, whether they are living or dead."

"So you don't treat the dead any different than the living?"

Aveline suppressed a smile.  "Well, I don't get an answer when I talk to them, but no I don't act differently towards them.  They are a part of me, deserving of respect and their memories something to cherish.  I really don't know more than that."  

Merrill nodded, but Aveline went on.  "I used to talk to my mother.  I never knew her, but I liked to think she was there with me.  When I had problems or sometimes just wanted a chat, I would talk and she would listen.  It's like that now with...others."  There were so many others these days, friends and family gone from her life, Aveline wasn't sure if she was having a conversation or addressing a crowd.  "It was a comfort, at least for a while."

"I wish the past brought me comfort."  Merrill said, looking wistful.

"Sometimes it can't."  Aveline frowned.  

She did think about the past from time to time, but not like Merrill did.  It felt wrong to always be looking back, and she'd never been comfortable in the past for too long.  To look for meaning in the past was one thing, but to search for answers that may or may not be there, Aveline didn't believe it was healthy.  

Merrill had given up her life, her clan and all of the world that she knew to hold onto something that wasn't even yielding results.  It had only brought her pain, and no sign that all of the work would be worth it.  Still, she didn't want to discourage her, because she had already lost so much and Fenris and Anders had a go at her whenever they felt like voicing their opinions.  Gently, she wanted to steer her away from that mirror and the time she  spent on it.  What was the use of spending her present in the past?

She reached out and put a hand on Merrill's shoulder.  The elf seemed startled by the touch and jumped slightly, making Aveline frown.  How long had it been since a friend touched or hugged Merrill?  It was sad that she was so frightfully alone.  Perhaps that was why she clung so to the past, because the future was unknowable and the present unbearable.  Whatever the reason was, it made Aveline reconsider the admonishment she wanted to give Merrill, and think more about what her friend might need her to say instead.

"Merrill, how about you come around for dinner and we can talk about it then.  Donnic's working late shift tonight, and I was just going to do some reports.  I'd love company and to hear about Dalish history."  Merrill's work fascinated and sometimes scared her, and Aveline thought she'd better learn about it if she was going to understand her friend at all.

The smile Merrill gave her made Aveline feel diminished by its radiance, because her motives weren't entirely altruistic.  Nonetheless, good cheer was infectious and Aveline returned the grin as Merrill agreed.

"Oh that will be so wonderful, Aveline.  I can't wait.  I'll bring you something nice from the market, if I can find something nice there."

"You don't have to bring anything.  Just come and enjoy yourself."  Aveline said, despite Merrill's protests that she must bring something - perhaps a nice cutting of a plant? 

After she'd agreed to plant whatever Merrill was to bring, they parted.  Aveline watched Merrill walk away, bending to pluck a flower from where it grew between the cracks of the grey stones of Hightown.  She walked towards the sun, becoming silhouette and shadow before blending into the crowd.  She didn't know what she'd say that evening, but it was nice to see Merrill enthusiastic about the future for once.


End file.
